A Wonderfully Painful Thing

There are a few sayings, or proverbs if you will, that I think to be wholly true and inspiring, and to some extent a source from which I derive patience and consolation. They are like translucent badges I wear, reminding me who I am and who I will become. It's a wonderfully painful thing to survive solely on one's ambitions. At this point, to have money and to pursue a dream, though difficult, would be ultimately simple for me. Even to start from scratch would be welcomed. But for my own causes, these are not my situations, and I am simultaneously struggling with my past and present.

Each day that comes is quiet and empty, and a solemn reminder that my life is short and costly. I am definitely happier than I once was, but I now know there are many types of happiness. The only joy I receive in addition to building a family is through self sacrifice and overcoming each small obstacle I face. The deeper I descend into creating personal art, the less I hear my physical voice and the voices of others. It's not something I'm used to. I vocalize my feelings and work through image and all I have is the hope that someone responds to the time and effort and ultimately the passion that I've put into it.

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